"i dont know about you, but im feeling 22 officer so i dont think these underage drinking charges should really apply to me"
wow i really got around on the second day of school
i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything
…I don’t even drink alcohol
i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music
i don’t even have her number????????????
omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”